Who And What Are Boko Haram?

More to the point would be : who and what were Boko Haram. Not because 25 September headlines reported the leader of Boko Haram dead (again) but because Boko Haram leadership has been dead a few years now.If we try to evaluate the little that is known about this previously enigmatic movement by comparing it to other terrorist branded (by the USA) organizations of Africa, perhaps we can gain a clearer understanding.

Al Shabaab and the LRA (Joseph Kony) are 2 of the other thorns in the side of decent government. Are they thorns or tools? If Museveni is an African hero then the LRA is a thorn right? Or a tool? Or was the LRA a thorn and now a tool? How does a thorn become a tool? One way is to use the thorn to pick away at the fabric of society. You would need a nice big acacia thorn to do an amount of unpicking.

One fact stands out in Somalia. You are less likely to die of starvation if you live in one of the 9 out of 18 territories under Al Shabaab control.You are most likely to be hungry if you live in a concentration camp ( sorry refugee camp) in an LRA controlled area of Uganda. At these refugee centres you can sell something (most people have nothing else to sell other than their wives or children`s bodies) in order to buy a daily allowance of food. The menu and amount apparently seldom expands unlike Pres. Museveni`s foreign aid budget. Britain loves Museveni. Like it loves saving people from the LRA. People can really relate to aid given to resist the LRA because of the thought of child soldiers.

Ah hah! It is the children then. Saving the children. Yes it is saving the children because that as a human being must be our primary moral. Like in Europe and Britain where those children in childrens homes are cared for?

That is why Boko Haram abducted the schoolgirls. Now Nigeria can increase its military spending and Britain can re-enforce foreign aid to resist Boko Haram and save the children.

The word Boko Haram sounds nice to me, a soft sounding beautiful name. For all I know it might mean `primordial ooze` but it still sounds nice and somewhere I once read that “car bombings and the like are anti-thetical to Boko Haram”. That leaves me wondering who they once were.

Apparently one of their founding ideologies was to resist western indoctrination ( sorry education). Now, I for one can relate to this policy because I am still trying to figure out how to sue the private school I attended because according to that school Vasco de Gama discovered the bay of Natal in 1487 and before then it didn`t exist.It also taught me that Africans had no technology previous to European colonization and it also taught me that the speed of light is a fixed constant and (this was back in the 1980s of South Africa) that those guys across the border were terrorists. I don`t know how you can sue a school for making your father pay to have lies taught to you.

Joseph Kony has not had much to say for about a decade. That is because apart from the astrology page of newspapers, mediums don`t get to tell news. The guy is dead long time. I`m no judge of faces but to me he just doesn`t look like `Baby Eater`. I tend to view baby eaters as balding, fat, overcoat wearing middle-aged European men; that`s probably from reading too many British newspaper articles about paedophilia.

Back in the day, even before Idi (and I have a lot of good things to say about Idi, by the way), Britain used the Acholi people of northern Uganda as the Ugandan Protectorate`s police force because they were in the minority and had some sort of distant feud thing going with Bugandans; something to do with someone saying “your mother is a whore and looks like a rottweiler on acid”. Anyway after Milton Obote was dispatched by the British for having unhealthy socialist principles and things like human charters and nationalized industries, Idi was brought in.Long story but Idi changed tactics, did really well and even got a CBE. ( He awarded it to himself and the C is for conqueror not citizen of the British Empire.) So Idi got bolshy, planned to wipe Israel off the map and Julius Nyerere helped get Obote back in power ( Uganda`s population was seriously dwindling.)But Obote still had nasty socialist traits and wanted to trade with countries other than UsaUkFranceBelgium, so out he went and in came Museveni to conquer Commmmmunnnisssmmm.Meanwhile up in the north of Uganda some Acholi people clocked on to what the new guy really was and formed the original LRA.(?)

I don`t know maybe Museveni is really a big cute cuddly teddy bear, well he is friends with Baroness Ashton and Lady or Baroness? Chalker and lots of other British lords and ladies who seem to have a firm grip on British foreign policy; so what do I know?I`ve never even been to Uganda. I guess given all that development aid over the years it`s a really thriving industrialized country with prosperous citizens, I mean more than just the usual for Africa 5%. I did meet a Ugandan once, years ago in a bar in the south west of England. I was several pints down or I would have tried to ask him some intelligent questions. I did manage to get the name and PO box address of one of his colleagues, (kept it for years and always meant to write).His name was Bernard Gololo, he was an ANC member (still called terrorist back in 1988) and had a really great story about a military training camp in Tanzania, Moscow, bananas and coke (coca cola).Anyway he was South African and chatty, unlike his Ugandan counterpart (they and others were on some kind of management course being held nearby).The guy from Uganda was a Ugandan Cabinet Minister and his few words to me (young cottontip that I was), were a bit chilling. He said and I really do quote :”In Uganda we trade foreign aid for nuclear disposal.”That was it.It was a total conversation killer.

This article is getting long so better go back to Al Shabaab.But to tell you what I reckon to Al Shabaab we`d have to go to Mali and the Azawadi people of the all too brief Azawad State to explain how Al Ciada came to town in Mali and how it is coming to town in Somalia amoung Al Shabaab.

Contrived childish babble cannot do justice to the people of Uganda,Nigeria,Mali or the hell on Earth of Somalia. So I will stop there.

all the best